Will They Ever Be Safe in Delhi?

'North East women are soft targets'

By Sobha Menon


Being a woman can be tough enough on the mean streets of Delhi. Being from the North- east as well, can invite double trouble. Here's a case in point mentioned by a North- easterner who didn't want to be named: In JNU, you sometimes see women coming out of the men's hostel. If it's a woman from the North- east, it gets noticed even more.

"In Delhi University, for example, every woman student tries to look her trendiest - women from the Northeast do the same but invite more unwanted attention," says Ningreichon Tungshang, a member of the Naga People's Movement for Human Rights. " If you're walking on the streets, eveteasers will shout out, ' Chinky…bahadur'. I can understand if it's the uneducated, but no, these are men who drive BMWs," she says.

As a newcomer, Delhi can be intimidating for anyone. Rosey Sailo Damodaran, joint director in the Rajya Sabha secretariat, found that working in a sarkari office saved the day for her. Her personal views: " A single North- east woman is grilled about why she still isn't married and whether she eats meat. Then she's asked to produce an identity card from a 'respectable' office. Status matters," says Sailo Damodaran, recalling the bias she faced initially. But then, those were her initial years in Delhi."The challenge has been to dispel all pre- conceived notions patiently, prove your calibre in your chosen field and assert your right to study, live and work in Delhi with respect just as any other migrant from any other state," says Sailo.

SINGLED OUT

Architect Reshmi Jyrwa, who came to Delhi 11 years ago from Shillong, too was lucky because she went to the right college where such discrimination didn't exist. "But I have a friend who went to a reputed management college, and was denied admission in the hostel because she was from the North-east. She took up a place outside, but because she did not get hostel accommodation, she was an outsider... and treated like one.Eventually, she had to drop out and leave Delhi.

I know of many other people from my home town, Shillong, who had to throw away their future only because of people who refused to see beyond stereotypes," Jyrwa says. There was another incident when Jyrwa's acquaintance from Nagaland was refused entry into a night club because she didn't " fit the profile". They were okay with her profile until they learnt that she wasn't an expat. Says Jyrwa: " It's very easy to blame a place, but it's the people who make a place what it is. Delhi has been safe for me as long as I was with the ' right kind of people'. On my own, I've faced a tougher time."

'YOU PEOPLE' & US

There's also a "you people" attitude that can makes a North- eastern woman feel permanently like an outsider if she doesn't find the right crowd for herself. Says Thingngamchon, who came to Delhi from Manipur, worked here as a music teacher and a media professional, and is now on a sabbatical: "My concerns are for the girls who come here seeking employment and to escape the violence in their state. They are soft- natured and polite…not aggressive enough. They work in the services sector such as hospitality, retail and BPO - life's a struggle for them because they don't earn enough and some of them, especially in retail are exploited by their employers. I know one girl, who wasn't even paid her salary when she took leave on account of her father's death." Most of them, she says, are caught in a vicious cycle.

As for going to the cops when in trouble, Ningreichon's found while helping women from the region that they go to the police station as a victim and end up being grilled on why they dress the way they do and keep late nights. " There are so many dos and don'ts for them:don't create a ruckus, don't cook anything smelly. Since boys and girls - relatives - live together since it's more affordable, moral issues are raised.

Sailo Damodaran, meanwhile, feels that since Delhi is a "cultural melting pot and yet a very aggressive city" it makes sense to " be alert and well- informed about the ways here". Her advice: " Maintain your identity but also be sensitive to the culture of others." She also feels the " dominant community" here needs to be sensitised about the North- east people." Many don't even seem to be aware that there are seven states very different from each other," she says. She also feels that if Delhi could be made safe for women, half the problem of women from the North- east would be solved.